By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
