They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
