I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
