Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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