found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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