Three words: puerto rican gang bang
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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