After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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