this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have post one night stand depression
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
