i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
