My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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