Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
