Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize