I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
