He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
