i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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