We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
