So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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