I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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