Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
