So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
