i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
