btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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