no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize