I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
