i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
