I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize