Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
