Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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