Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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