My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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