he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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