Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
