I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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