Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No subtext here. People are naked.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
