i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
