need another drink. this is the easiest way
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
