Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
tell me about the eggs
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
