i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
