It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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