one might say we're banned from that church
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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