I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
