i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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