i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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