its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
