if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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