I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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