Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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