Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
