I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
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Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
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The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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