so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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