Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
