Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
