Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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