At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
