I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
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I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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