omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i think i scared a bird with my dick
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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