My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
