There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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