i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
