im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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