Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
