Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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