First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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